Monday, January 7, 2008

Simplicity is Clarity

Simplicity is Clarity

Novacaine

Posted: 07 Jan 2008 04:29 PM CST

Continued from Nebulizer:

I made the bus with time to spare, not bad for a chubby little thing like me. The driver gives me a smile and I decide to sit up front so we can gossip a little. There’s almost nobody on the bus in the afternoons and I know she gets lonely.

Maybe I could ask her for help.

We chat a little about the weather, the traffic, the smelly bum who gets on at fourth and rides until his transfer is up. She looks over and asks me if I’m working out. I tell her just in the kitchen, and we laugh about it a little.

She has that look in her eye that fucking look don’t just fucking look sad help me HELP ME

I give her a little hug when it’s time to head into Albertsons, and head in to get some dinner and take care of some girl stuff at the pharmacy.

Cunt pharmacy bitch slut just fucking admit it’s wrong

The meat all looks a little old, and it makes me a little sick to smell. I think we’ll have breakfast for dinner! Some bacon and some eggs, a potato to make hash browns. A twelve pack of Icehouse, some sandwich fixings for lunch tomorrow.

Finally it’s time to head for the Pharmacy bitch to see about another just one more please a real one this time. She sees me coming and she dials something on the phone. I walk up and try to just keep calm, no problems here. Nothing big. Just need another test, the last one was tampered with. We can’t go off half cocked here, can we? We have to have accurate data.

dickheadmanagercomeswalkinguplikei’mgoingtomakeascenefuckingsmallpeckershithead

No, there’s no problem here at all, you just need to give me a new test, because this one was wrong, it was bad, it wasn’t real it was tampered with. He’s giving me some ma’am-don’t-make-a-scene line like I’m at fault here! Don’t tell me who needs to go see a doctor, you’re just a cashier who puts pills in a bottle, you silly little thing. No I wasn’t threatening, no, I’m calm, everything is fine, nothing is the matter. It’s fine, I don’t even need a refund, I’ll pay for the new one it won’t be a problem. I just need a new one and no I just want to explain it to her closer, just between us girls and no don’t pull me out of the window we’re just going to get to talk between the two of us. Let go of my bag, I will call the police if you don’t let me go I have something I need to do and I don’t care how many I’ve bought over the past week because who fucking cares you fucking WHORE WHORE WHORE WHORE WHORE YOU FUCKING WHORE I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU JUST SAY IT’S NOT FUCKING POSITIVE. IT’S MY MONEY AND I KNOW MY RIGHTS YOU FUCKING WHORE I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU KILL YOU

Please kill me

And for a while, it all goes black.

Maybe I should just have gotten the pork roast

When I come back around, here we sit, with the manager and the security guard on my arms, watching the eggs drip out of the cart and onto the floor, and nobody listens when I say they should mop it up. I don’t want to just wait for the police to get here, there’s no sense in it. There could be salmonella out there! A kid could get sick! a baby a baby And the silly thing is the mop is just right there, if they’d just let me go I could go grab it and maybe they could get some Pinesol and it’d all be fine.

And then the crew cut policeman walks in and smiles at everybody and asks what the problem is. Everybody is mad, but he’s just so smooth and seems so bright and happy that it makes me laugh. I feel them loosen the grips on my arms and everything is gonna be just fine.

As long as they get the eggs mopped up

Winter Gear Tracking: January 7

Posted: 07 Jan 2008 10:00 AM CST

This morning was incredibly mild and wind free, which is both bizarre and pleasing. I managed to only sweat a little this morning, largely helmet sweat from my waterproof lid thingy. I believe some fangle is going to be required to get that to stop, probably just taping over some vents and dealing with the fact that sometimes my head will be wet. This goretex may be the best, most breathable watertight fabric in the world, but man does it make my noggin sweat.

This morning it was (according to the Google) 36 and calm, 93% humidity. I wore my granny panties (underarmor long johns) and my shorts (plain ass cargo shorts) along with the Burley jacket over a t-shirt and undershirt. More would have been overkill. Could have used less head heat, and undone some of the zips on the jacket.

posted by Jarvitron @ 5:31 PM   0 Comments

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